Martha Stewart Weddings features a gay wedding
I have grown up in a home where Martha Stewart Living is one of the most oft-read magazines and, since I was old enough to truly appreciate weddings, have been a faithful purchaser of Martha Stewart Weddings. I have enjoyed the inspiration, the fabulous diy ideas, and the beautiful spreads. Martha Stewart Weddings, both the print magazine and the website, have been some of my greatest sources of wedding inspiration. As you well know, I often share information, ideas, and photos from MSW here on my blog. However, I feel I would be remiss if I did not share my great disappointment with the current issue. As part of the large portion of the population who strongly believes marriage should be between one man and one woman, I was rather taken aback to see a homosexual wedding featured in the Winter 2010 issue. I may not always agree with the lifestyles and life choices made by all the people featured in every publication I read, but I do not appreciate picking up my favorite magazine to see photographs of homosexual couples being affectionate. For someone who believes that same-sex marriage is wrong, such articles and/or photos are offensive – and something I certainly would never knowingly pay money for. I understand that one reader’s views, opinions, and purchases can not change the course of an entire magazine. However, I believe that I speak for a majority. A very large majority. As marriage amendments protecting marriage as between one man and one woman have been passed across the country, the facts speak for themselves – America as a nation does not support same-sex marriages. If you are also disappointed in this article as much as I am, I would encourage you to write to MSW and let them know. A magazine without input from its readers is not serving its readers. ***Note: I just wanted to clarify that I don’t hate homosexuals. I actually know a couple gay and lesbian people and they’re great folks. This, however, does not mean that I agree with their lifestyle choices. I don’t un-follow Twitter feeds or unsubscribe from great blogs just because the writer believes that same-sex marriages are fine – differences are differences. However, as a paying customer of Martha Stewart Weddings, I would like to be able to read the magazine without having to see photos of homosexual couples being intimate. Now, I understand that if I don’t like it, I should just stop buying it. And, if MSW continues to feature same-sex weddings, I likely will. But I do have the right to express to them my preferences for the magazine. As for my comments about being in the majority, those who said that the majority is not always right are absolutely correct. I’m not saying I’m right. I’m saying this is what I believe and that the majority of the American population believes the same. That is not just something I think, it’s a proven fact. Since so many of the folks who are for same-sex marriages have been boldly proclaiming how happy they are about this featured wedding, I thought it only fair that those of us on the flip side of the coin be allowed to share our opinions as well. Thank you to everyone who has shared their thoughts on the issue with respect for another view.*** {I don’t mean to open a debate over whether or not homosexuality is right. What I do mean to do is express my opinion. As this is my personal blog, that’s perfectly acceptable. I am a Christian and hold to God’s design for marriage being between one man and one woman. I am not ashamed of it. You are most welcome to disagree with me if that’s what you choose, but I do ask that you refrain from attacking my beliefs in your comments. Please, if you leave a comment, whether you are for homosexuality or same-sex marriages or against, remember to speak gently.} |
315 Responses to “Martha Stewart Weddings features a gay wedding”
The problem with people who have a mindset like yours is that you absolutely don't see how sick it is. As a potential bride(zilla) you are so insecure with anything that might steal your thunder. Why else would you be so concerned with other people's marriages?
You believe that your marriage is so special–so magical–that you don't want it to be "tarnished" by "icky gays getting married. First of all, you are statistically more likely to divorce than to stay together–so your big, fantastic, virginal (yeah right), blow out of a wedding is probably doomed to begin with.
Secondly, you don't mind gay people as long as they know their place. We can be gay, just don't be gay in front of you or your children… You know that whole, "knowing their place" bit has been used for eons. People used to not mind blacks "as long as they know their place." People used to not mind women, "as long as they know their place." People didn't mind Jews, "as long as they know their place." You need to seriously re-think your mindset.
I pray that if you do get married and you do procreate, that you don't have a gay child or that your children don't have a gay child. Baby, gays are every where! And we come from straight couples. If I sound a little defensive it's because I'm SICK TO DEATH of prima donnas such as yourself announcing their displeasure against people who have NO impact on you. You being upset with gay marriage is like you being upset that I have a maple tree in my front yard. It doesn't concern you! If you don't support gay marriage then don't have one.
Once upon a time many would have considered a Jewish person marrying a Catholic, a black marrying a white, to all of you who are against gays getting married you should remind yourself that. Not allowing gays to get married does nothing to protect the institution, it only punishes loving couples and prevents them from the luxuries that marriage provides.
don’t mean to open a debate over whether or not your blog is idiotic and pointless. What I do mean to do is express my opinion. As this is my personal comment, that’s perfectly acceptable. I am an American and hold to our founding father’s design for this country being a land of equality and liberty. I am not ashamed of it. You are most welcome to disagree with me if that’s what you choose, but I do ask that you refrain from being such a pathetic hateful bigot no different in ANY significant way from the people who opposed interracial marriage.
I think Kevin put it best here in the comments section, "It seems like you've spent your entire life wanting to be a bride, but you've never spent a single minute thinking about what love actually is." A wedding is a ceremony that acknowledges the union of two people, that may or may not coincide with a recognized marriage. And sometimes two people perform a wedding ceremony to offer others the opportunity to acknowledge their relationship. It's more than just cakes, tuxes and dresses to a lot of people.
You may not believe it, but gays do in fact experience the emotion of love. We are human beings. And sometimes we feel compelled to display this love in acts that you find offensive, known to other people as displays of "affection." It's sort of what we do. We hug, we kiss, and do other things, but the rest of the time many coupled gays live and share their lives together, very much like some straight couples do. And when we live long enough lives together or feel very strongly for one another, we like to share that bond through the wedding ceremony. Should you ever be invited to one of these horribly offensive events, I hope you will be able to enjoy yourself like the other guests.
Kudos to MSW. I thought the article was wonderful!
Onward, Joe Mustich, Justice of the Peace,
Washington, Connecticut, USA.
Hello. I am a gay young adult who is currently studying at a university, where I hope to continue to learn and eventually go to law school. Later I would like to study human rights and fight for my rights and the rights of others to be treated equally. There are a few issues I would like to raise here. The first being that it seems that you are acting a tad bit melodramatically towards the entire problem. I haven’t seen the article, but more than likely, it is probably just a few pages of homosexual love, and nothing more. Are you not able to turn a page without having to interject your personal religious beliefs? If not, then you are just as showy, just as “righteous” as any of those overtly religious figureheads on TV. Secondly, why aren’t you able to just turn the page? Are you not able to understand and empathize with the homosexual population at all? We experience, on a daily basis, discrimination, hatred, and malice. And if you can… Leave well enough alone! We are not out to hurt you, or to damage what YOUR definition of marriage is, we simply want understanding from a society in which we live, and to be treated as the rest of the population is treated. Equally. The idea of gay marriage does NOT affect you in the slightest. Thirdly, if you are simply and absolutely repulsed by the notion, and cannot buy the magazine anymore, because of a few pages, then you are wrong. That sort of absolutism and close-mindedness is not in the majority. This disgusting and horrific bigotry is (I pray hopefully), coming to an end. These are some of the interesting points that thought could be teased out from the text that you have provided. I hope you find this insightful, and would love to continue to discuss this through any venue if you would like.
I feel I would be remiss if I did not share my great disappointment with your blog. As part of the large portion of your commenters who strongly believes that committed love makes a marriage, I was rather taken aback to see blatant bigotry proudly featured on your blog. I may not always agree with the lifestyles and life choices made by all the people featured in every blog I read, but I do not appreciate turning on my internet to see photographs of bigoted couples being affectionate. For someone who believes that bigotry is wrong, such blogs and/or photos of such bloggers and their fiances are offensive – and something I certainly would never knowingly read or support with web traffic.
I understand that one reader’s views, opinions, and click-throughs can not change the course of an entire blog. However, I believe that I speak for a majority of your current readers. A very large majority. As heartfelt, witty, and sarcastic comments pointing out the folly and ignorance of your hateful position have been posted on this site and passed around the internet, the facts speak for themselves – The internet, as a community, does not support bigoted bride blogs. If you are also disappointed in this blog entry as much as I am, I would encourage you to write to A Bigoted (er, I mean Barefoot) Bride and let her know. A blog without input from its readers is not serving its readers.
***Note: I just wanted to clarify that I do indeed resent bigoted bloggers. I unfortunately know a couple of bigots, and although they're quick to insist that they’re great folks, they are mistaken. I neither agree with their ignorant choices, nor am willing to give them a free pass when they advocate persecution of a minority group in a public forum. I will absolutely un-follow Twitter feeds or unsubscribe from blogs just because the writer advocates bigotry – hate is not a merely a "difference," and I have no desire to tacitly endorse ignorant prejudice by giving it a wider platform on the internet. As a thinking consumer of online media, I would like to be able to read about wedding planning without having to see photos of hypocritical couples who post their own engagement photos with pictures of themselves "being intimate" with the comment "can you tell how much we love each other?" yet "do not appreciate (indeed, purport to be deeply offended) the same love between two men in MSW. Now, I understand that if I don’t like the blog, I should just stop reading it. And, since i assume Rebekah will remain stubbornly prejudices and small minded for years to come (if not a lifetime), I likely will. But I do have the right to express to her my preferences for the blog, because she solicited comments on this page.
{I believe her when she says she didn’t mean to open a debate over whether or not homosexuality is right. That is because she is a bigot, and she wants to simply spew her dogmatic homophobic views, unchallenged by pesky logic or anyones pleas for compassion and empathy. What she means to do is express her opinion without being subjected to the personal pain or outrage that her bigoted words stir up in the hearts of the LBGT community and all decent people with hearts. This may be her "personal" blog, but it's a public forum connected to the world wide web, so she needs to learn that her words of hate have consequences. She claims to be a Christian, but I think she needs to work on the "love thy neighbor" part. She should be ashamed of herself, because her hurtful words are an attempt to shame, silence and marginalize a group of her fellow human beings. She is most welcome to make heterosexual "lifestyle choices," but 200+ commenters on this site do ask that she refrains from attacking homosexuals, then patronizingly claiming that she does it with love in her heart. Please, Rebekah, if you keep posting on this blog, whether you continue to be a bigot or finally grow out of your small mindedness, remember that you cannot sling hate at people with a smile, and then ask them to be "tolerant" of your nonsense. Good people will speak up in defense of love and equality. You have a lot of growing up to do, little girl.}
bravo. simply bravo. I did wonder, reading the original post, what it would be like if she knew how it feels to face that kind of judgment and hatred every single day….I wonder if I could give her, and those who hold similar views, enough of a view into my heart so that they could catch just a small glimpse of the cumulative impact of such scorn and bigotry. I have to hope that it would make some difference, but I fear that it wouldn't change a thing.
Believe it or not, Christians have to deal with many of the same things as homosexuals. Christianity is not as prevalent in America as it used to be and Christians are seeing their rights taken away left and right. Being a Christian in a third-world country is especially difficult, so there's a good chance she's seen even more (physical?) persecution when she's been in India. So for those of you who say she doesn't understand judgement and hatred, think again. She probably does.
So the blogger has no right to "spew hatred" but you have every right to do just that under the guise of a poor victimized minority?
This blogger has a right to spew hatred, certainly, and we have the right to tell her exactly how and why she's hateful and what we think of it.
But please — "poor victimized minority"? Like the LGBT community isn't a victimized minority? So, what — we're a powerful majority, instead? Not according to the blogger's own words, we're not. She's convinced we're a minority and she wants to victimize us. Sorry if it upsets you that we're not letting her.
Nice Christian attitude you got there. Ever consider trying loving your neighbors, instead?
Of course I've tried, but you're not making it very easy. How about we call a truce and cease the sarcasm?
So you're only good with Christian values when they're easy for you? That's odd. I didn't realize Jesus wanted other people to do the work for Christians, I was under the impression that they were to do it themselves. Isn't prayer helping you to overcome the overwhelming horror of — shudder — sarcasm, of all things? Isn't your god or at least your faith more powerful than that? And do you always only love when it requires no sacrifice on your part?
I'm all for a truce, though. I won't call anybody out on their bigotry as long as they stop practicing bigotry. Your happy, I'm happy, everybody wins, problem solved. Thank you for being so reasonable.
Thank you guest
So now Heterosexual couples shouldn't marry at all? Good luck furthering the human race.
Miss the point much? Since half of all heterosexual couples divorce anyway, then, no at least half of them shouldn't be getting married at all. Isn't your god anti-divorce, anyway?
The proven fact is that including all orientations in marriage strengthens it. You've really got to work on your negative attitude. It's not always about taking things away from people. Our side is all about including. Try it sometime, you might like it!
And I hate to be the one to break it to you, but millions of children are being raised by LGBT people in the USA alone even as we type. You don't need married heterosexuals to make babies. If that's what it took, how do you account for the millions of illegitimate children of heterosexual parents? Do they not exist? In vitro kids — also fictitous? Sperm and egg donors and surrogates — a myth?
Of course, people who choose to practice the heterosexual lifestyle should marry if they want, but, no, they clearly are not needed to "further" the human race. And that's a separate issue entirely. Marriage isn't about having kids or infertile people and people who choose to be childless and the elderly and some disabled would be forbidden to get married. Is that the next step? Just how cruel do you have to be before you've done enough harm?
And I hate to be the one to break it to you, but millions of children are begin raised by LGBT people in the USA alone even as we type. You don't need married heterosexuals to further the human race. If that's what it took, how do you account for the millions of illegitimate children of heterosexual parents? Do they not exist? In vitro kids — also fictitous? Sperm and egg donors and surrogates — a myth?
Of course heterosexuals who choose to marry should, but, no, they clearly are not needed to "further" the human race. And that's a separate issue entirely. Marriage simply isn't about having kids or infertile people and people who choose to be childless and the elderly or some disabled would be forbidden to get married. Is that the next step? Just how cruel do you have to be before you've done enough harm?
Why wouldn't a magazine like MSW feature a beautiful Connecticut wedding? I found the feature on Jeremy and Andrew's wedding very encouraging. It inspired hope in many people, myself included.
You've had no problem with heterosexual couples being affectionate in the pages of MSW, but when it comes to homosexual couples "being affectionate" and exchanging vows, they've crossed a line. That's an ugly double standard. The love and commitment of two people expressed in a manner as beautiful as Jeremy and Andrew's wedding should encourage and not disappoint you.
Dear writer… Don't like the thought of your grandparents getting it on? Don't think about it. Find fat people disgusting when naked? Don't look. Grossed out by gays? Turn the page. Intolerant of the realities of other people's lives? Well hold your precious nose and move on. But look at what you're doing: reacting against expressions of love and affection, simply to make it easier for you to maintain your personal comfort level– now THAT is what is truly offensive. MOST people don't really have a problem recognizing in others our shared fundamental humanity: we express love for another, and especially for that one special other. And this threatens your personal equilibrium? You are not expressing an opinion. You are expressing selfishness and a personal lack of empathy, and it is not nice to witness. Just turn the page.
Gay Teen Worried He Might be Christian:
http://www.theonion.com/content/news/gay_teen_wor...
Hah. I love it.
The fact is that people who make a heterosexual lifestyle choice can't be trusted to protect marriage.
Divorce Rates Higher in States with Gay Marriage Bans:
http://www.fivethirtyeight.com/2010/01/divorce-ra...
States with marriage equality — states which promote and treasure marriage so much they share it with eliglble couples of all sexual orientations — are the only ones that protect marriage. Massachusetts, the state which has had marriage equality the longest, has experienced a TWENTY PERCENT DROP in their divorce rate in the five years that marriage equality has been the law.
Marriage equality strengthens the institution of marriage. And of course it does — that just makes sense. Obviously, those who want to make marriage a monument to hatred and bigotry can't be trusted with it.
I find this highly offensive, and not only that, but completely wrong. Forget that it offends me. It really doesn't matter what I think. What's right and wrong matters. The Bible clearly speaks against this. An entire city was destroyed because of people like this. It is disgusting, sickening, and just plain wrong. None of us can even begin to imagine what God must think of this. How much it offends Him. God must be ten billion times more offended then I could ever be. We were all made in the image of God. And it is sick and perverted for anyone to defile God's image in such a way. It makes me sick! Sick to think that this is happening more and more in this society. And, honestly, I don't care if anyone is offended by what I'm saying. It is only the truth, and that's why people will fight against it so hard. If you doubt what I'm saying, pick up a Bible and read it. You will find everything that is right, holy, honorable and worthy in it.
Homosexuals are offensive to not only Christians, but God as well. I am a Christian and I'm not afraid to stand up for what I believe. Rebekah, I have the highest respect for you. Even though you knew you'd be attacked (as most Christians are) you still proclaimed what you believed and you aren't ashamed of it. You are truly a blessing and a gift. And I hope an example to Christians. How they should proclaim their beliefs more openly and more often. I know there are Christians out there who are persecuted for their beliefs, but I honestly don't believe enough of us are doing it. Myself included. God Bless.
I didn't come in to this blog to argue with you against religion. I came to argue for equal rights. You can believe how you wish, worship how you wish, feel how you wish to feel about any number of things. That's the wonderful thing about this country. You can be exactly who you wish to be, even if what you are being is something I do not agree with. I only wish that you'd allow me the same.
You do not have a right though to limit my life. You cannot tell me who to worship or how to believe. You cannot tell me that my love is less than yours or that YOUR God thinks I am 'disgusting'. Does your God not also tell you not to judge, lest ye be judged? Or that you should refrain from casting the first stone?
Prove one thing you said, and I'll consider your opinion. But I know you can't. So don't bother trying.
You can't even prove that your god exists. All you have is the dogma from your parents, who didn't know any better, and their parents, all the way back in the family line to the illiterate nomadic goatherders who started this crap.
Some of us have evolved.
Others, obviously, haven't.
Why is a God who destroyed a city full of sinners worth worshipping? He also whipped out the entire human race, endorsed slavery, murdering your non-virgin bride, murdering disobedient children, and several other abhorrent things. Your God is a vile monster, and it disturbs me that you would want to please him.
Exactly. The god of the Old Testament is merely a reflection of humanity's most obvious weaknesses.
I find this highly offensive, and not only that, but completely wrong. Forget that it offends me. It really doesn't matter what I think. What's right and wrong matters. The Bible clearly speaks against this. An entire city was destroyed because of people like this. It is disgusting, sickening, and just plain wrong. None of us can even begin to imagine what God must think of this. How much it offends Him. God must be ten billion times more offended then I could ever be. We were all made in the image of God. And it is sick and perverted for anyone to defile God's image in such a way. It makes me sick! Sick to think that this is happening more and more in this society. And, honestly, I don't care if anyone is offended by what I'm saying. It is only the truth, and that's why people will fight against it so hard. If you doubt what I'm saying, pick up a Bible and read it. You will find everything that is right, holy, honorable and worthy in it.
It's funny how many people are willing to post what God says about loving others, but ignore what God says about the homosexual lifestyle. Way to go, Rebekah! I'm sorry to see Martha Stewart kowtowing to a vocal minority. It's good to see the majority willing to become vocal as well.
"kowtowing to a vocal minority"?
Wow. Just wow.
Rebekah, this is what I pray for you: That you may find the patience to search yourself and your heart for the answers to the question of what love really is. I pray that you find courage to face those answers when they come to you. I pray that you find empathy, to better understand the struggle of the minority, rather than relying entirely on the explanations of the majority. I pray that you find knowledge; the knowledge to look into our past as a nation and find your place in yet another monumental struggle towards human equality. Lastly, I pray that you love. I pray that you love in a way that defies all else and that, in finding that love, understand what it is like to be the 'one in ten', the minority, the 'less thans'. The people who aren't allowed to share their lives with their soulmates, best friends, and lovers. The people who aren't allowed to show up in magazines or hold hands in public without laughter or grimace. I pray you love, Rebekah and that you learn.
I believe that some things which have been said to this blogger have the ability to hurt her feelings, but nothing that is said on these pages will take away the rights given to her for being a woman marrying a man. Nothing we can possibly say will make her feel what so many in the gay community feel when being constantly denied the right to marry, or when made to feel that their love is somehow less and ought to be hidden.
Yes, I believe that some of the comments were sharp, but we are in a struggle here to fight for what we deserve and the battle isn't always a kind one. While I would like to approach this blogger with a certain sad, 'sorry-for-her' feeling, there are others that (understandably) are reacting with anger. She has, after all, said that something we desperately want is something that should never be seen. Have you ever had anyone tell you that your love was ugly?
Barefoot Bride you wrote "Note: I just wanted to clarify that I don’t hate homosexuals. I actually know a couple gay and lesbian people and they’re great folks."
How heterosupremacist of you. Why do you think that your opinions about gay and lesbian Americans has anything to do with constitutional equality. Now before you argue that marriage is not a constitutional right, you would be wrong, because the courts ruled in 1888 that marriage is a fundamental right, and this precedent was repeated in the Loving v. Virginia interracial marriage case from 1968.
The United States Constitution must apply unconditionally to all Americans, and must never be based on whether you hate or do not hate anyone. In fact, whether you agree with, approve of, accept ,tolerate, respect, understand, love like, look like or believe like any other Americans is irrelevant to the rights of any other American.
Marriage equality is about the 1138 Federal and State property, inheritance, health and well being of families. It is not about religious beliefs at all. Courts starting in 1971 ruled that religious wedding ceremonies did not confer any legal rights of marriage to couples who had religious wedding ceremonies at all.
So your opinion, and the opinion of all the tyrannical theocRATS who voted against equal marriage rights on bigot ballots or in state legislatures, or the members of Congress who voted for the Discriminatory Offensive Marriage Attack (DOMA) and President Clinton who signed this affront to unconditional constitutional rights should be what upsets everyone, because once one tyrannical majority votes against constitutional rigihts for one group they don't approve of, accept, agree with, tolerate, respect or understand, there is no reason another tyrannical theocRAT lynch mob cannot go after your rights.
Be outraged about that, not about Martha Stewart exercising her First Amendment right to honor the marriage of two people who love each other, who just don't happen to look like you or love like you, Ms. "Idon’t hate homosexuals."
Bravo!
Ah, wonderful examples of the tyranny of "tolerance" in these posts…
Disagreeing with acts and choices and not wishing to be barraged with or forced to condone them didn't use to qualify as hate. I suppose all of the vitriol in these responses here reftlects love? Step out of yourselves for a minute, those who follow Christ believe we are called to love others while not condoning the sin.
Good blog Rebecca, God bless.
Tolerance for people is not the same as tolerance for ideas, especially harmful and offensive ideas like those that fill this post.
Oh, boo hoo.
Your friend personally attacked a human being, and she's getting it handed to her.
We're not very tolerant of racists either.
Hateful worldviews have no place under the umbrella of "tolerance."
Sweetheart, grow up, step out of your bubble, and welcome to the real world where there are people who are different than you are and have as much right to exist and be happy. You can discriminate all you want to in your church. You can condemn them all you want to from the pulpit and feel some grim satisfaction that they’re going to hell as far as you’re concerned, but don’t try to tell the rest of us that we have to share your ignorance and prejudices.
Wow, a lot of you guys really will read into things, won't you? The blogger never once said anything about other people having to share any of her feelings. She did welcome you to disagree with her. Obviously she was grown up enough to realize that not everyone thinks the same way.
Tim: I am one half of the couple being attacked by her words. Her post is not just an anonymous smear of gays and equality. They are personal insults to me, my legal marriage, my shared kiss, my family (including my young nephews who are in the article), and my special day. I am one of the human faces attached.
So I'm sorry that you choose to see only a few more overheated comments rather than the vast majority of reasoned, measure, principled thoughts. I'm not as able to overlook Rebekah's deeply hurtful decrial of my live and love
Jeremy,
I just want to say that your marriage (and the wedding!) are beautiful.
Congratulations!
Hear, hear to Lindi. Jeremy, as a long time reader of your website, I was glad to see the article in MSW and how obviously happy and in love you are, and wish nothing but the best in luck, love, and happiness to you.
Dear Barefoot Bride –
Martha likes it enough to put it in her magazine…so…IT'S A GOOD THING! ! !
The majority of people thought that it was okay to keep my great grandparents as slaves. Later, a different majority thought that it would be okay to prevent my grandparents from voting and drinking out of the same water fountain as the majority. in Germany, the majority thought it would be fine to murder 6 million Jews.
Remember how you treat the least of Jesus's brothers.
Being a bigot is a lifestyle choice. Being straight or gay, male or female is not.
I think the blogger was trying to say that if people didn't like it they should tell MSW. If you do like it, then tell MSW that, too! Then they'll know what their readers want and will print likewise. Since this was the first time a homosexual wedding was featured, it was not something the author had expected. If the magazine continues to include non-heterosexual weddings, I'm sure that she'll just stop buying it. But first she wanted to tell the magazine her thoughts, as a reader. The magazine might not (probably won't) care, but she does have that right as a customer. Once her opinion has been shared she can decide whether or not she wants to keep buying it. She didn't declare a boycott.
Consider the opposite – I'll bet if a magazine you paid money to buy had only ever featured homosexual couples and they suddenly starting putting in articles about heterosexual couples, many of you would have written to ask them not to. That's all she did. And she shared the information here so that her readers would know – because it had been posted on other wedding blogs and the readers were writing Martha to tell them thank you. If you can do it, why can't she?
Oh, and she probably doesn't post about rape and murder because it doesn't pertain to weddings. This is a wedding blog.
You don't get it. She called a complete stranger's wedding "offensive." She wants homosexuals and lesbians to be invisible because she is uncomfortable with photographs of them kissing, holding hands, or just existing.
How would you feel if a complete stranger decided your wedding was "offensive"?
It is rude and disgusting behavior, the type of thing that someone writing a wedding blog should not be doing. Believe it or not, it is completely legal for fags and dykes to get married in five states in the United States.
Well, since you seem to think she shouldn't think the wedding was any of her business and just ignore it, why don't you figure this is none of your business and ignore it?
Yep. It was a personal attack.
Also?
We don't get all ticky about seeing straight people like you all do with gay people.
We just accept that it's part of reality.
I find the uber-conservative fixation on gays to be strange and prurient.
So I guess if we don't act like other human beings and show love and affection towards each other than it's okay with you. I feel for your gay friends who, I'm guessing, can't be themselves around you and most definitely can't share the personal relationships with you the way the, I'm guessing, you probably flaunt and celebrate your upcoming nuptials and affection towards your future husband with them.
Is that real friendship? I don't believe so. But I guess as long as you're not made to question your beliefs or feel uncomfortable then all the better.
And, BTW, learn a little something about history in the U.S. and you'll realize that the "majority" in most cases was wrong e.g. slavery, interracial marriage, civil rights. Besides, the majority should never be allowed to vote on the rights of a minority.
History tells us so and is on our side. Get used to us.
Dear Barefoot Bride,
Here's a true challenge in courage. I dare you to find one of those "great folks" you claim to know who are gay, and tell them to their face that you "don't appreciate" seeing pictures of them in love with their partner or spouse. Tell them that who they are is "wrong." Then ask them what they think. Inquire how your statements make them feel. Then listen. Really listen to their pain, and ask yourself if you still honestly feel like a good person. Ask yourself if Christ would be proud of you for how you treat homosexuals.
Ha, and then get one of her imaginary gay friends to post on here in her defense.
That'll be the day.
Do you think that if Jesus saw two men or women kissing that he would be offended or condemn them? I think that he would see the love and affection and approve of it.
I seem to remember something that went "Judge not lest ye be judged.
I think you seem to only be remembering part of the Bible. If we're going by Biblical standards (which, obviously, you are), then we also have to consider where it says to hate what is evil. And where it says that homosexuality is wicked.
Why won't you let Jesus marry who he loves???
"He will reply, ‘I tell you the truth, whatever you did not do for one of the least of these, you did not do for me.’ (Mat 25:45)
I'm glad that your faith is important to you, but it has absolutely no relevance on anyone else's life, especially their rights to be married in a civil ceremony — nor does it have any impact on whether MSW features them. Consider yourself removed from my RSS feeds. As a lesbian engaged to SHOCK AND AWE another woman, I'll keep my blog traffic at Offbeat Bride, where I never have to put up with bigotry like this.
Where is the message "Gay people are second class people" in the gospels or the creeds?
I object to those who pervert the Good News of the gospels to justify hate and separation of all people from God's love. I think that is evil.
Please think about this before you start your missionary work.
I couldn't agree more! Bekah, it's hard for me to believe you are going to minister to "untouchables" in India. Do you see the irony? How is you you find enough compassion in your heart to minister to those who have been discriminated against and marginalized by the caste system in India, yet you proudly advocate the oppression of homosexuals in our own country. Don't you see that the two are the same insofar as they were both born into what they are, and suffer great scorn from society for simply existing?
Before you go minister to children in an oppressed class overseas, look into your own heart and realize that you must let go of the oppressor inside of YOU.
I think Rebekah is going to be sharing what's taught in the Bible, which is what she believes. If you want to go to India and share what you believe in, go ahead. The Bible says to love people and hate sin and refers to homosexuality as wicked, so I would say she's living by what she believes, regardless of what that may bring.
Yes, indeed. She'll be teaching a gospel of oppression to people who presumably she finds so moving because of the oppression they suffer thanks to bigotry in their own culture. That's ironic. I sincerely and respectfully think she should reflect on that and reconsider the value of her beliefs before she goes off to spread them to the world. They do not reflect love or compassion for her fellow man.
From the recent issue of the New Yorker:
"Many more people condone gay marriage today than condoned interracial marriage at the time of Loving v. Virginia, when only twenty percent of Americans told Gallup that they approved of it."
What this means is that in 1967, EIGHTY PERCENT of Americans believed it was "wrong" and "offensive" for members of a different race to get married. This "very large majority" would have certainly complained if Better Homes & Gardens ran a spread on a racially mixed couple just trying to be happy like everyone else. But as we know now, large majorities are not always right.
Well it looks like you said something pretty stupid.
I don't agree with you, but I've gotta say that your comment made me laugh.
Words used by the author: "I want to clarify that I don't hate homosexuals."; I would be remiss if I did not share my great disappointment…"; "You are most welcome to disagree with me…"
Words used in the reader comments: bigot, wretch, "You're lying!", hateful, ignorant, others of her ilk, etc… (those are all on one page by the way)
For anyone who genuinely has an open mind, it is rather obvious where the hate lies. I find the hypocrisy revealing of the true character of said commenters. For claiming to be open-minded and accepting of other beliefs, you have made your viewpoint a laughingstock for anyone looking at this from a neutral perspective. I could actually read her blog all the way through. But I can only read a few comments and replies before I have to turn away with disgust at the vitriol thrown her way.
bigot (big′ət)
noun
-a person who holds blindly and intolerantly to a particular creed, opinion, etc.
-a narrow-minded, prejudiced person
Just the facts, ma'am…
I believe that some things which have been said to this blogger have the ability to hurt her feelings, but nothing that is said on these pages will take away the rights given to her for being a woman marrying a man. Nothing we can possibly say will make her feel what so many in the gay community feel when being constantly denied the right to marry, or when made to feel that their love is somehow less and ought to be hidden.
Yes, I believe that some of the comments were sharp, but we are in a struggle here to fight for what we deserve and the battle isn't always a kind one. While I would like to approach this blogger with a certain sad, 'sorry-for-her' feeling, there are others that (understandably) are reacting with anger. She has, after all, said that something we desperately want is something that should never be seen. Have you ever had anyone tell you that your love was ugly?
So you're saying that because she couches her bigotry in sweet little lady terms, while the LGBT people here are more biting and honest, she's the nice one?
Lame.
Shorter D. Watkins: be more tolerant of her intolerance!
Yeah, exactly.
It's always useful to remember that we've never tried to take anything away from these people, yet their worldview fosters constant attacks on us.
D. Watkins and her friends need to grow a pair.
Having said that and in keeping with the nature of these replies, I can expect when I visit this site again that I will be lumped in with the "bigots" as you call them. Let the facts speak for themselves people. She only posted her thoughts on these events as she has a right to (since she is a subsriber to MSW). You have a right to believe what you do. But for crying out loud, can we grow up and stop throwing mud like little schoolgirls. In keeping with what you think of yourselves, keep it civil.
Ironically, that's what people are so upset about on this board. We just want to keep marriage CIVIL- governed by the laws of the land, not by the strictures of your religious sect. The US. Constitution grants equal protection to all citizens, yet this blog advocates a denial of equality to homosexuals because, based on her religious beliefs, it's "wrong," even the sight of a gay marriage has her "taken aback" and she "doesn't appreciate" a magazine acknowledging or depicting affection between gay men. She advocates boycotting the magazine if they continue depicting gay marriages. One can use mild language to express deeply hateful opinions about the value of other human beings. Barefoot Bride has demeaned and deeply insulted the couple in the article (and all gay people) with her post, and hasn't even had the decency to respond to one half of that couple who has posted repeatedly on this board, with incredibly mild words each time. She claims not to be ashamed of her position at all, so can *she* grow up and respond to his offer to have a dialogue about why her religious beliefs have any bearing whatsoever on his CIVIL marriage to the man he loves?
When people call her a bigot, it's not mud slinging or name-calling, any more than it's name calling to call her a woman, or a blogger. I don't defend the name calling that has come up in some of the posets, but "bigot" is simply a factually accurate description of her behavior.
bigot (big′ət)
noun
-a person who holds blindly and intolerantly to a particular creed, opinion, etc.
-a narrow-minded, prejudiced person
Thank You Barefoot Bride on your courage to say what is TRUTH which is what the Bible teaches. I happen to not even consider the word "choice" ..it is simply sin. Interesting that there are so many comments trying to defend a sinful life. I am not perfect and it is only by the Blood of Jesus Christ I am saved. The Bible is clear the choices we all make will have consequences of their own, and NO you are not born "that way" it is a choice you made all on your own, you will reap your just reward. You can choose to not like the Bible or its precepts, but, that does not make you immune to the TRUTH, just like gravity, whether you beleive it or not… it believes in you and works the same regardless of your opinion.
Yes, hating people because the Bible tells you to is a wonderful thing…
We don't hate you….we could care less about you.
Bekah took the time to write a blog post encouraging her fellow "Christians" to rise up against a gay photo spread in MSW, and you, Mount Moron, have spent a considerable amount of time on this comment wall spewing bigotry and nonsense.
Seems to me, you couldn't care *more* about this issue…
Prove one thing you said, and I'll consider your opinions. But I know that you can't, so don't bother trying.
Why don't you try proving that God doesn't exist? Why don't you explore questions like "stories of a worldwide destruction by flood" from nearly every culture of the world, whether they know about the God of our Bible or not? Why don't you look at over-whelming evidence that points to a young earth, not one that is billions and billions of years old like evolutionary scientists would like us to believe. It's because you're afraid of the truth that just might be out there. If the God of the Bible did exist, you would have to question everything that you believe…for some it's just too hard to let go of what they believe themselves to be
Sir, please go learn about the fossil record, and then come back to chat…
http://www.ucmp.berkeley.edu/fosrec/Learning.html
Not saying I have any evidence one way or another about the existence of God, but the age of the earth is something science can help us figure out. You don't even have to believe in evolution to understand this stuff. The link above is really cool… There's cartoon dinosaur pictures and everything!
You're the one with the burden of proof, sweetheart. You're the one who believes that a cosmic Jewish zombie who is is own father can make you live forever if you symbolically eat his flesh and telepathically tell him you accept him as your master, so he can remove an evil force from your soul that is present in humanity because a rib woman was convinced by a talking snake to eat from a magical tree.
(To quote a great poster.)
And you're seriously saying that we should use OTHER mythology to prove YOUR mythology? REALLY?
Why don't you prove to me that Thor doesn't exist, or that Poseidon doesn't exist, or that Allah doesn't exist?
Give me a break.
And your "overwhelming evidence" of a young earth would get you laughed out of any science class in a normal people school, you know, where they study science.
You're revealing yourself to be a braindead scold, and that's not a good thing.
You believe what you want, I've seen enough science that does prove the bible…Carbon dating is not accurate, fossil records indicate a sudden natural catastrophe (you would see the same thing after Mt. St Helens erupted), a pre-flood condition of the earth evidenced to have been much heavier in oxygen (which would affect the way that age of artifacts is calculated). ____Only a fool will claim that God does not exist, that is stated in God's word, and so you sir are the one that will be proven a fool…whether you believe I am one or not, doesn't really matter.____
Easy enough… take an apple, throw it up in the air… did it come back down?? See gravity exits! Now try not beleiving it exists and repeat the process…. did your belief affect the end result?? Didn't think so. Reap it!
Good, now try to say something smart about the god stuff.
You know, show me a picture, something. AND THEN prove to me that it's the Christian god that's real, and not Zeus or Mithra or Thor.
I find this highly offensive, and not only that, but completely wrong. Forget that it offends me. It really doesn't matter what I think. What's right and wrong matters. The Bible clearly speaks against this. An entire city was destroyed because of people like this. It is disgusting, sickening, and just plain wrong. None of us can even begin to imagine what God must think of this. How much it offends Him. God must be ten billion times more offended then I could ever be. We were all made in the image of God. And it is sick and perverted for anyone to defile God's image in such a way. It makes me sick! Sick to think that this is happening more and more in this society. And, honestly, I don't care if anyone is offended by what I'm saying. It is only the truth, and that's why people will fight against it so hard. If you doubt what I'm saying, pick up a Bible and read it. You will find everything that is right, holy, honorable and worthy in it.
Sweetheart, grow up, step out of your bubble, and welcome to the real world where there are people who are different than you are and have as much right to exist and be happy. You can discriminate all you want to in your church. You can condemn them all you want to from the pulpit and feel some grim satisfaction that they're going to hell as far as you're concerned, but don't try to tell the rest of us that we have to share your ignorance and prejudices.
Uh, no.
Carbon dating is one of MANY methods they use in real science. Real scientists recognize its limitations and use other methods when applicable.
And the crap about the flood has been disproven OVER and OVER and OVER again.
And your thing about "only a fool would claim that god doesn't exist" or whatever…yet again, PROVE IT!
Goddamn.